To: Mr. Robert Browning, General Partner From: Charles J. Thompson, Jr Subject:

Question

To: Mr. Robert Browning, General Partner

From: Charles J. Thompson, Jr

Subject: Follow-up

Hey Rob…

We’re in receipt of your note on July, 20, 2013, and it’s good to hear from you again…Good to learn that you’re doing well. As for myself, still trying to desperately ‘Catch-up ‘after having returned this past Monday, from a very enjoyable vacation. Al this past week has been devoted to ‘Wading thru papers’, which I am sure you fully understand….since you wer Golfing in the California all week!

The purpose of our letter to you today is to get your response as to the ‘Common-denominators’ which are prevalent in the acquisitions you’ve made thus far, in relationship to the types of situations you are desirous of pursing at this time.

I am seeking to ‘Get a handle’ on the main points of your acquisitions thrust in order that we may approach your needs more intelligently, and therefore ultimately aid/be beneficial and/or instrumental with such needs…

Look to hear from you with this written documentation in order that we PRESS ON in your behalf.

I’m out of here for the entire week of the 20th for NCN in Chicago, and look to hear from you asap.

Rob, that’s the news from the Thompson Tower.

Best,

Charles J. Thompson, Jr., President

Executive Consultants, Inc.-“Where True consultants Meet Worthy client’s Needs”

P.O. Box 44296

New York, NY 11201

Phone 917-562-7471

Fax 917-733-1234

cjt@eci.com

www.ECI.com

After you read the following email from Mr. Thompson, answer the questions below. Note: Again, this note was actually sent.

How do you like the way the e-mail looks---letterhead, formatting, and the like?

Does the e-mails appearance influence your response to it? How?

What mistakes in usage do you notice?

Are there any expressions that Mr. Thompson uses that bother you in particular? What are they, and why do they bother you?

How do you feel about Mr. Thompson? Do you like him? Do you trust him? Why or why not?

What would you change about the way the e-mail was written?

Explanation / Answer

The email does not look anywhere close a formal business communication. The writer has no attention to formatting r the letterhead. This looks more like a friendly social media chat.

Yes, emails appearance influences the response to it. Because the appearance of the email conveys a great deal of tacit information about the attitude and sincerity of the writer about the issue. Accordingly, the receiver responds as per the seriousness and sincerity of the writer.

There are spelling errors, and usage mistakes, as described below

"Al this past week has been devoted to ‘Wading thru papers’, which I am sure you fully understand...since you wer Golfing in the California all week!" - the usage is confusing because it is not clear what does the writer refer to while saying you fully understand. Does he refer to the papers or the situation that he has to wade through papers for a week after returning from a long vacation. The writer mentions about the enjoyable vacation, He could have simply mentioned vacation. It is not clear what point does the write to make by making a reference to the receiver golfing in california all week. Grammatically the sentence is incorrect. The correct sentence would be "The past week has been devoted to reviewing the papers. I am sure you can understand the work pressure after returning from a long vacation, as you were also Golfing in California for the whole week."

"The purpose of our letter to you today is to get your response as to the ‘Common-denominators’ which are prevalent in the acquisitions you’ve made thus far, in relationship to the types of situations you are desirous of pursing at this time." - Correct usage would be "The purpose of this letter to know about the similarities in your recent acquisitions, with respect to the opportunities that you wish to pursue"

"I am seeking to ‘Get a handle’ on the main points of your acquisitions thrust in order that we may approach your needs more intelligently, and therefore ultimately aid/be beneficial and/or instrumental with such needs…"I am trying to understand the main pointers of your acquisition strategy, so as to approach your consulting needs more effectively and consequently provide the appropriate solutions as per your needs"

"Look to hear from you with this written documentation in order that we PRESS ON in your behalf."We look forward to hear from you in order to proceed further"

Mr Thomson has used some confusing expressions such as "Common-denominators", "get a handle" and "PRESS ON" these expressions are bothersome, because these expressions do not fit the context.

Seeing this email, Mr. Thomson does not come across as a serious businessman. The language and approach used by him in the email is casual, carefree, overfriendly tone, and usage of confusing expressions. He comes across as a person who parties harder, but is careless at work. Such a person is not worthy of trust of a serious business project.

I would change the email as below

Dear Rob,

We are in receipt of your note on 20 July 2013. It's good to hear from you and that you are doing well. I myself have returned from a vacation and now I am business in reviewing the papers. You can understand the situation of work pressure, after returning from a long vacation, because you were also Golfing in the whole week.

The purpose of this letter to know about the similarities in your recent acquisitions, with respect to the opportunities that you wish to pursue

I am trying to understand the main pointers of your acquisition strategy, so as to approach your consulting needs more effectively and consequently provide the appropriate solutions as per your needs.

Looking forward to hear from you in order to proceed further.

Best Regards

< NAME >

<SIGNATURE>

Related Questions

Navigate

• Browse (All)
• Browse T
• Subjects

Integrity-first tutoring: explanations and feedback only — we do not complete graded work. Learn more.