Document for revision the e-mail in Figure 3.10 has faults in grammar, punctuati

Question

Document for revision
the e-mail in Figure 3.10 has faults in grammar, punctuation, conversational language, out- dated expressions, sexist language, concise wording, long lead-ins, and many other prob- lems. use standard proofreading marks (see appendix b) to correct the errors. study the guidelines in the grammar/mechanics handbook to sharpen your skills. when you finish, your instructor may show you the revised version of this e-mail.

Dear Kay:
Sept. 12, 2013

Pursuant to our telephone conversation this morning, this is to advise that two (2) agent’s packages will be delivered to you next week. Due to the fact that new forms had to be printed; we do not have them immediately available.
Although we cannot offer a 50/50 commission split, we are able to offer new agents a 60/40 commission split. There are two new agreement forms that show this commission ratio. When you get ready to sign up a new agent have her fill in these up to date forms.
When you send me an executed agency agreement please make every effort to tell me what agency package was assigned to the agent. On the last form that you sent you overlooked this information. We need this data to distribute commissions in an expeditious manner.
If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to call on me.

Yours very truly Roxanne

Explanation / Answer

Answer

12 September, 2013

Dearr Kay.

Greetings of the day, as per our telephonic conversation this morning, this email is to inform you that your two agency packages will be delivered to you by next week. As we cannot arrange for immediate availability because we need to prepare new forms and print them. We offer a 40% commission to newcagents. You are required to fill the two new agreement forms which also includes the commission ratio.

While sending your executed agency agreement please make sure you provide details about the agency package assigned. This is to remind you because your previous form didn't included this information. This information will help in distribution of commission correctly.

Feel free to reach out for any help.

Regards,

Roxanne

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