Document for Analysis: Claim Request: Analyze the following letter. List its str

Question

Document for Analysis: Claim Request: Analyze the following letter. List its strengths and weaknesses, and then revise the letter.

Dear Mr. Berkin:

When I ordered my Precor treadmill last month, you assured me that it was the best product for cardiovascular fitness. After viewing the videotape you sent, I believed in your product and your company and soon placed my order. I received the treadmill on January 12. The product was easy to set up, and after watching the instructional video and reading the manual, I was ready to work out on the Precor. However, I cannot seem to use the unit as shown on the instructional tape, and believe my machine may be defective. I have read and followed all the instructions, yet the machine’s spin-wheel system produces resistance, which propels me off the front.

I would like this problem solved, either through a new machine being sent to me free of charge, or a refund after I return this machine. Please contact me at 706-555-3800 and advise me how I should proceed in this matter.

Explanation / Answer

So here is the analysis part of the above claim letter:

Strengths:

1. From the letter, we can see that the intended purpose for claim is clear and concise.

2. It states exactly what you want to be done as an action post getting this letter.

3. Its nice to include your contact information; it will help the recepient to call you back and understand the problem in detail.

Weaknesses:

1. At first the letter is missing your name and place indication. Such information helps seller to identify you quickly and offer you most appropriate solution to resolve your problem.

2. It should have sent along with some other supportive documents/ videos of issue while working with it/ current pictures after assembling it etc. Because most of the time such supportive documents help to build more credible claim request.

3. It sounds angry at the same time little threatening when you write "I would like this problem solved..... after I return this machine". You could have been little polite being it the first stage of conversation you initiated.

4. This letter could have been the 2nd alternative because some time these things can be resolved by speaking over phone at first place. As speaking over a phone makes things resolve quickly and build a good buyer-seller relationship for future instances. Because you never know when next time you might want to buy some other product from that seller and owing to your relationship he will always recommend you great product and services.

Revised Letter (Please note the edits in bold fonts):

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Your Name

Address

Date:

To,

Mr. Berkin

Address for shop/ Establishment

Dear Mr. Berkin:

I tried to reach you over phone multiple times in last [2-3] days but couldn’t get through it. Hence I am sorry but I’ll have to write this claim letter because there is no other way I could tell you about problem I am facing with a recent purchase from you.

When I ordered my Precor treadmill last month on [date], you assured me that it was the best product for cardiovascular fitness. After viewing the videotape you sent, I believed in your product and your company and soon placed my order. I received the treadmill on January 12. The product was easy to set up, and after watching the instructional video and reading the manual, I was ready to work out on the Precor. However, I cannot seem to use the unit as shown on the instructional tape, and believe my machine may be defective. I have read and followed all the instructions, yet the machine’s spin-wheel system produces resistance, which propels me off the front. For your reference, I’m attaching a video link/ pictures where you can see the problem after assembling it completely as per instruction.

I would request you to kindly solve this problem, either through a new machine being sent to me free of charge, or a refund after I return this machine. I’ll be glad to speak to you to resolve this issue quickly in most amicable manner, please contact me at 706-555-3800 and advise me how I should proceed in this matter.

Yours Sincerely

Your Name

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