Your Task. For each of the following, read the original passage. Analyze the par

Question

Your Task. For each of the following, read the original passage.
Analyze the paraphrased version. List the weaknesses in relation to
what you have learned about plagiarism and the use of references.
Then write an improved version.

c. Original Passage
Search site Yahoo kept world news prominent on its front page
because users feel secure knowing that it is easily accessible, even if
they don’t often click it. Conspicuous placement also went to entertainment,
which draws heavy traffic from people seeking a diversion
at work. By contrast, seemingly work-related content such as
finance gets ample use in the evening when people pay bills and
manage personal portfolios.18
Paraphrased Passage
Search giant Yahoo kept news prominent on its portal since its customers
feel good knowing it is there, even though they don’t read
it much. Such noticeable placement was also used for entertainment
news that attracts heavy traffic from users searching for a distraction
at work. As opposed to that, what may seem work related,
such as finance, is much visited at night when people pay their bills
and manage their portfolios.
d. Original Passage
The bid to offer more fashionable apparel was a bid for Target’s
business. With designer names and fashion flair, Target has made
customers comfortable buying dental floss and flirty dresses under
one giant, uber-hip roof. . . . Wal-Mart found out that though its
edgier Metro7 line for women sold well in several hundred stores,
the line’s skinny jeans and other higher-style fashions bombed
when the company expanded it to 3,000 stores.19
Paraphrased Passage
By offering more fashionable clothes, Wal-Mart was bidding for
Target’s business. With fashion flair and designer names, Target
had attracted customers who would buy dental floss and sexy
dresses under one roof. Wal-Mart learned that its hip Metro7 line
for women sold well in hundreds of stores, but the skinny jeans and
higher-style clothes misfired when the retailer took them to 3,000
of its stores.

Explanation / Answer

The weaknesses in the paraphrased paragraphs are:

For paragraph c) few sentences were maintained as in original which amounted to plagiarism. Also most of the key words were used which ensured that there was a duplicity in the paraphrased paragraph.

With regards to the paraphrased paragraph d) the issue was similar with the similar words being used in the original and paraphrased paragraphs and only the order of the words being changed. Also the reference to Walmart or Target did not show have the proper symbol (such as a registered symbol) which should have showcased that these are brands or corporations.

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