The following blunt refusal from a restaurant owner rejects a previously agreed-
ID: 357512 • Letter: T
Question
The following blunt refusal from a restaurant owner rejects a previously agreed-to favor. To avoid endangering a friendship and losing community goodwill, the writer needs to revise this message. Your Task: List at least five weaknesses and suggest ways to improve this message. Then revise and submit the new letter Current date Ms. Diane Hinchcliffe Taste of the Beach 310 Ocean Avenue, Suite 304 Carmel-by-the-Sea, CA 93521 Dear Ms. Hinchcliffe: Unfortunately, we cannot participate in this summer's Taste of the Beach event. This may be particularly disappointing to you because, merely as a friendly gesture, I had earlier agreed to provide a selection of tasty hors d'oeuvres from my restaurant, The Zodiac. I'm sorry to let you down like this. We have participated in the past, but we just can't do it this year because our aging kitchen facilities require major and extensive remodeling. I heard that this year's Taste of the Beach is really going to be a blast with new and old food, wine, music, and artistic offerings. How did you get so many prized vintners and all those well-known chefs, artists, and music groups to participate and perform? This is probably quite disappointing to you (and to me) because the event supports Big Brothers Big Sisters of America. I know that BBBSA is simply the very best as a youth mentoring organization. Let me repeat—I'm sorry we can't participate. Don't bother to beg me. But for your silent raffle we can offer you a coupon for a dinner for two. Of course, this could not be used until October when our renovations are completed. Sincerely,
Explanation / Answer
The five weaknesses and suggestion to make improvements in the message are as follows:
Corrected letter:
Ms. Diane Hinchcliffe,
Taste of the Beach
310 Ocean Avenue,
Suite 304 Carmel-by-the-Sea,
CA 93521
Dated: March 31, 2018
Sub: Participation in the summer’s Taste of the Beach Event
Dear Ms. Hinchcliffe:
Good Day!
Thank you for inviting us to participate in the Summers Taste of the Beach event.
I have heard that the “taste of the beach” this year is going to be as happening and fun-filled event as always. Also, I hear the event will be resplendent with good wine, good food, good music, and a lot of other artistic offerings. We are always amazed and happy with your success and would like to congratulate you on the number of Vintners’ prizes you have received.
Your efforts at getting the well-known chefs, musician, and artists for the occasion is commendable. We salute your efforts which never fail to impress us.
We are also aware that the event supports Big Brothers Big Sisters of America. The BBBSA is the best youth mentoring group and we commend your achievements which are astounding and worth acknowledging.
The sad part is that we will not be able to participate in such a successful and happening event, it’s not due to lack of intent but because our kitchen is under renovation. I would like to apologize for not being able to supply a selection of Tasty hors-d'oeuvres from my restaurant. I know I had promised earlier but the circumstances don’t allow me to participate this year.
I will also like to share a coupon for your silent raffle offering dinner for two at my restaurant but valid from October as my restaurant is under renovation. Please consider this as a goodwill gesture, a small token of my heartfelt apology for letting you down.
Thanking you once again for understanding the reason behind my last minute exit from the event. I am sure you will understand my circumstances.
Yours sincerely,
XYZ
The restaurant
Proprietor
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