REVISING FOR READABILITY (Sentence Length) Break the following sentence into sho
ID: 390208 • Letter: R
Question
REVISING FOR READABILITY (Sentence Length)
Break the following sentence into shorter ones by adding more periods, and revise as needed for smooth flow:
1. Unfortunately, no gadget will produce excellent writing, but using a yardstick like the Fog Index gives us some guideposts to follow for making writing easier to read because its two factors remind us to use short sentences and simple words.
EDITING FOR CLARITY (Hedging)
Rewrite this sentence so that it no longer contains any hedging.
2. Your report seems to suggest that we might be losing money.
EDITING FOR CLARITY (Awkward References)
Revise the following sentences to delete the awkward references.
3. The keys to 34A and 35A are in executive hands, with the former belonging to the vice president in charge of sales and the latter belonging to the production manager.
EDITING FOR CLARITY (Dangling Modifier)
Rewrite this sentence to clarify the dangling modifier.
4. Full of trash and ripped-up newspapers, we left Dallas on a plane that apparently hadn't been clean in days.
EDITING FOR CLARITY (Camouflaged Verbs)
Rewrite this sentence so that the verb is no longer camouflaged.
5. Adaptation to the new rules was performed easily by the employees.
Explanation / Answer
REVISING FOR READABILITY (Sentence Length)
1. Unfortunately, no gadget will produce excellent writing. However, using a yardstick like the Fog Index gives us some guideposts to follow. This makes writing easier to read. The two factors of Fog Index remind us to use short sentences and simple words.
EDITING FOR CLARITY (Hedging)
2. Your report seems that we might lose money.
(Hedging is refraining from using confident statement about a topic. Hence, we use seems or may to avoid judging statements.
EDITING FOR CLARITY (Awkward References)
3. The keys to 34A and 35A are with vice president in charge of sales and to the production manager respectively.
(Vague references such as former, later and belonging were removed)
EDITING FOR CLARITY (Dangling Modifier)
4. We left Dallas on a plane that apparently hadn't been cleaned in days as it was full of trash and ripped-up with newspapers.
(Initially, there was no connection between the subject and the phrase)
EDITING FOR CLARITY (Camouflaged Verbs)
5. The employees easily adapt to the new rules.
(The word ‘Adaptation’ ends with –ion which changes the verb into adjective and noun. Hence, this has been changed to adapt, which is a verb)
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