Hello I had this assignment in my business communcation class and I did it, I wa

Question

Hello I had this assignment in my business communcation class and I did it, I was wondering if you could fix what im missing and help me complete it if im I am missing anything.

10.16 Persuading University Students to Start a Retirement Account (LO 10.5, LO 10.6)

Write a message that targets university students and persuades them to start a retirement account. You’ll find lots of information online about the benefits of starting a retirement account early. Spend a few hours learning about options before writing your letter.

Include: Attention, Need, Solution, Rationale, Appreciation, Counterpoints, Action

Write in email format.

What I wrote

Subject: Saving Money

Dear University Students:

When we are in our early twenties and still in a University, many of us may not consider what we are going to do when we retire. You may think that retirement is way too far away to worry about when you are still in college. This leaves you with the problem of getting to retirement and not having as much money as you want to live the lifestyle you want.

There is an easy solution to this problem, and that is start investing in your future now. By putting money into your retirement found starting into your early twenties you can more than double your retirement fund to help you live the way you want when you get to retirement age.

You live comfortably with how you are used to living. If you are used to spending your entire paycheck and living lavishly then it is going to be hard for you to change living like that when you want to start saving for retirement in the future. If you start putting a decent amount of money that you can afford to the side for your retirement fund starting early you are not going to miss it because you are not used to having it.

I am encouraging students to set aside as much as they can as soon as they can to start preparing for the future. You will not regret it when you have the extra money to be sitting on the beach for retirement instead of living on a tight budget because you wanted to go out on the town instead of save that extra little bit of money. See you on the beach!

Explanation / Answer

Dear University Students:

Many college students don’t save for retirement because they don’t think they have enough money to make a difference. That’s the irony: Sparing early is the most vital part of building a retirement fund.

When we are in our mid twenties and still in a College, a large number of us may not consider what we will do when we resign. You may feel that retirement is far too far away to stress over when you are still in school. This abandons you with the issue of getting to retirement and not having as much cash as you need to carry on with the way of life you need.

There is a simple answer for this issue, and that is begin putting resources into your future at this point. By placing cash into your retirement discovered beginning your mid twenties you would more be able to than twofold your retirement reserve to enable you to experience the way you need when you get to retirement age.

You live easily with how you are accustomed to living. On the off chance that you are accustomed to spending your whole paycheck and living luxuriously then it will be hard for you to change living like that when you need to begin putting something aside for retirement later on. On the off chance that you begin putting a not too bad measure of cash that you can bear to the side for your retirement finance beginning early you are not going to miss it since you are not used to having it.

We can state at a specific time backup stash is basic and understudies ought to have crisis stores which can be utilized as bank account for eventual down payments. younger students ought to be more centered around sparing trade than putting out a retirement account.

I am urging students to set aside as much as they can when they can to begin getting ready for what's to come. You won't think twice about it when you have the additional cash to sit on the shoreline for retirement as opposed to living on a tight spending plan since you needed to go out on the town rather than spare that additional smidgen of cash. See you on the shoreline!

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